Automatic merge from submit-queue (batch tested with PRs 41505, 41484, 41544, 41514, 41022)
Proxy defer on update events
This PR is a series of discrete movements in refactoring some of kube-proxy's twistier code in prep to be more async. It should be reviewed one commit at a time. Each commit is a smallish movement, which should be easier to examine. I added significant tests along the way, which, unsurprisingly, found some bugs.
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