Automatic merge from submit-queue (batch tested with PRs 42080, 41653, 42598, 42555)
StatefulSet: Respect ControllerRef
**What this PR does / why we need it**:
This is part of the completion of the [ControllerRef](https://github.com/kubernetes/community/blob/master/contributors/design-proposals/controller-ref.md) proposal. It brings StatefulSet into full compliance with ControllerRef. See the individual commit messages for details.
**Which issue this PR fixes**:
Fixes#36859
**Special notes for your reviewer**:
**Release note**:
```release-note
StatefulSet now respects ControllerRef to avoid fighting over Pods. At the time of upgrade, **you must not have StatefulSets with selectors that overlap** with any other controllers (such as ReplicaSets), or else [ownership of Pods may change](https://github.com/kubernetes/community/blob/master/contributors/design-proposals/controller-ref.md#upgrading).
```
cc @erictune @kubernetes/sig-apps-pr-reviews